Jar of Hearts
by CaMangAnime
Summary: Sakura is performing a special song at a show that is dedicated to the boy who broke her heart three years ago. What happened to them then, and what will happen when the little wolf corners her again after the show? Is he really sorry for what he did?


**Hey! This is my first songfic and my first Cardcaptor Sakura Fanfic! Thanks for reading!  
>(Sorry if they are OOC)<strong>

**Disclaimer: I do not own _Jar of Hearts_(by Christina Perri) or Cardcaptor Sakura(by CLAMP). Lucky people... ~.~**

Sakura stood in the wings of the stage, sadly listening to the cheers echoing throughout the auditorium and waiting patiently for her name to be called. Hugging her music tightly to herself, she gazed miserably at the crowd standing in the area in front of the stage. As her gaze swept over the faces, she could pick out some faces that she knew. Tomoyo, as expected, was right in the front, equipped with her ever trusty video camera. Eriol was next to his fashion designer girlfriend, his arm wrapped around her waist. Besides Eriol, besides Eriol, was _him_.

Sakura smiled sadly to herself. This song that she was going to play was written especially for him, that little wolf, Syaoran Li. They had broken up around three or four years ago.

Suddenly, Sakura heard her performance being announced, "Next is Sakura Kinomoto. She will be playing the piano and singing." Sakura steadily walked across the stage and sat down at the piano which had been rolled out seconds previously, just for her performance. She gently set her music down on the stand, and shuffled through the papers, taking one last glance at the lyrics. Clearing her throat, she slowly lifted her hands and positioned them on the piano. As she began to play, slowly and melancholically, she could feel the first tears welling up.

**No, I can't take one more step towards you  
>'Cause all that's waiting is regret<br>Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore  
>You lost the love I loved the most<strong>

The lyrics in the song fit her feelings perfectly. Even though she knew Syaoran was cruel and a heart-breaker, if she even thought about him, she would never be able to resist running back to him, despite the fact that she would regret it. When they were still together, he had been so sweet and thoughtful, always taking care of him. She had loved that side of him, until the mask fell away and his real nature came in.

**I learned to live, half alive  
>And now you want me one more time<br>Who do you think you are?  
>Runnin' 'round leaving scars<br>Collecting your jar of hearts  
>And tearing love apart<br>You're gonna catch a cold  
>From the ice inside your soul<br>So don't come back for me  
>Who do you think you are?<strong>

Without Syaoran, Sakura sometimes felt as if she was missing half of herself, but she had learned to live with it. Then…Syaoran had come back, looking for her, telling her lies, like usual. Sakura remembered that once, before they had fallen apart, she had asked him who he thought he was.

"I'm the Great Syaoran Li, of course, luckiest man in the world because you are my beautiful, amazing, wonderful girlfriend," he had proclaimed, fastening a necklace around her neck. The necklace had a glass heart pendant on it, with her name on one side and his name on the other side. Syaoran had an identical necklace, 'proof,' he said 'of their love for each other.'

**I hear you're asking all around  
>If I am anywhere to be found<br>But I have grown too strong  
>To ever fall back in your arms<strong>

Lately, Syaoran had been asking everyone for her new cell phone number and address. He had returned from Hong Kong several days ago. All of Sakura's friends—Tomoyo, Eriol, Naoko, Chiharu, Takashi, and Rika—had refused to tell Syaoran where Sakura was. Sakura had told them not to, since she knew Syaoran didn't really love her—it was all a lie. After suffering for weeks, Sakura had finally found enough strength inside her to go on. She would never ever fall for his lies again.

**I've learned to live, half alive  
>And now you want me one more time<br>Who do you think you are?  
>Runnin' 'round leaving scars<br>Collecting your jar of hearts  
>And tearing love apart<br>You're gonna catch a cold  
>From the ice inside your soul<br>So don't come back for me  
>Who do you think you are?<strong>

Syaoran had left such scars on Sakura's fragile heart when she caught him cheating on her on the day of their six-month anniversary. As soon as she confronted him, he had ripped the necklace off and, smirking, dropped it into a jar on his desk. Sakura could see so many other identical necklaces inside. Was she really just another girl?

"You see, he had said, smirking cruelly. "I collect souvenirs, for fun. You were the 37th. Congratulations. Now, get out! I don't ever want to see you again!" Sakura had fled from him in tears, her belief in love destroyed, and her illusions of a happy ending torn apart.

**It took so long just to feel alright  
>Remember how to put back the light in my eyes<br>I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed  
><strong>

She had cried endlessly for days and days on end, barely sleeping at all and hardly eating anything. Sakura had even left off going to school to sit, locked in her room, and cry her heart out. Her friends, worried sick, had come to visit her every day to sympathize with her, and they eventually persuaded her to go back to school. When she got to school, she saw Syaoran with his newest girlfriend, and she nearly broke down again.

Sakura lost everything. Her grades steadily dropped down. Though she was normally a straight A student, she was failing all of her classes. The cheerful air that she used to carry around disappeared and she was instead constantly miserable and depressed. Her skin lost its healthy tinge and paled to a milky white, and her eyes lost their sparkle. Though people used to say that she was filled with light and happiness, her spark had gone out, and she was left as a droopy, morose lost shell. It had taken forever to get some of her old strength and cheerfulness back and she was not going to lose it.

'**Cause you broke all your promises  
>And now you're back<br>You don't get to get me back  
>Who do you think you are?<br>Runnin' 'round leaving scars  
>Collecting your jar of hearts<br>And tearing love apart  
>You're gonna catch a cold<br>From the ice inside your soul  
>Don't come back for me<br>Don't come back at all**

If Sakura could have, she would have definitely reversed time to back before she met Syaoran. He promised her the world, and she never got anything from him. She never would get anything from him. None of the love, none of the "forever and always," nothing. He made all of those promises, and he broke every single one of them. She wasn't going to ever go back to him. He couldn't expect her to, not after all he had done to her.

**Who do you think you are?  
>Runnin' 'round leaving scars<br>Collecting your jar of hearts  
>And tearing love apart<br>You're gonna catch a cold  
>From the ice inside your soul<br>Don't come back for me  
>Don't come back at all<strong>

Syaoran's heart and soul were cold and cruel, so cold and cruel. He would always tell her that she had warmed him up, always. Liar. Saying that he had a heart of ice was definitely no overstatement. In fact, it was a huge understatement! His entire heart, soul, and body were made of ice, he was so cruel. It was a wonder he never got sick because of it. If he ever did, she definitely wouldn't be surprised. Honestly, she never wanted him to even think about getting her back again. He was her biggest mistake, and if he came back, her life would be ruined, wrecked and destroyed…again.

**Who do you think you are?  
>Who do you think you are?<br>Who do you think you are? **

As Sakura finished, the audience could see tears trickling down her cheeks and splattering onto the piano keys. She wasn't the only one crying. Hardly anyone in the audience had dry eyes. Standing up, Sakura picked up her music, curtsied politely and began to walk offstage.

Suddenly, her progress was arrested as the silence in the gym was shattered by the announcer, "Apparently Kinomoto-san wrote both the lyrics and the music for her song,_ Jar of Hearts_." There was silence for a moment as the audience absorbed the news. Shock and admiration was written across everyone's faces as they all gaped at the emerald-eyed girl. Then the entire auditorium burst into applause and cheers for the young musician/composer. Embarrassed, Sakura curtsied again and fled the stage.

* * *

><p>Sakura wandered around the room where refreshments were being served after the show. People were constantly coming up to her and congratulating and praising her on her performance. That was the last thing she wanted. Sakura managed to get her tears under control and plastered a painful smile on her face as she thanked everyone. Finally, she was able to sit down in a secluded corner outside the building, clutching a small slice of cherry pie and a glass of lemonade. Making sure that no one could see her, she silently let her tears fall.<p>

"Ying Fa."The unexpected voice made Sakura flinch in shock and fear. She didn't recognize the voice, but she didn't care. There was only one person who called her that. Snatching up her belongings, Sakura backed away from Syaoran. For a few brief moments, Emerald and Amber locked onto each other. Tearing her gaze away, Sakura stared at the ground, frightened. Syaoran's eyes told of years of pain and guilt. She wanted so badly to erase the pain, but she stayed silent, still staring at the ground.

"Ying Fa. I love you. I was such an idiot to leave you. Please, believe me. I didn't want to hurt you this bad. Please, give me another chance!" Syaoran begged. Sakura could hear the note of sincerity in his voice. Steeling herself as to not be hypnotized by him, Sakura looked at his eyes. They were filled with pain, guilt, and love, and she almost forgave him. However, she glanced over him, taking in what he looked like.

Over the months, Sakura had learned how to observe people. She could tell how people were feeling or what their attitude or personality was like. In fact, she had become a part time author and had a few small fantasy books published. Based on how Syaoran was standing and his expression over all, he seemed to be over confident and slightly cocky and arrogant. He probably expected that she would say yes. Sakura shifted her gaze back Syaoran's eyes.

For a millisecond, she saw something flash in them. It wasn't love, or guilt, or pain, or sincerity. Sakura froze then stared harder. She saw the momentary flash again. She gasped in horror. It was cruelty and triumph flashing through the wolf's eyes. He hadn't changed at all. Sakura stood up straight and faced Syaoran Li properly.

"I refuse, Li," she spat venomously at him. "I will not forgive you for something that you aren't even sorry for!" Syaoran glared at her, his mask of penitence and remorse gone. Before he could say anything, Sakura turned her back on him and walked off, calling a parting shot over one shoulder, "Hey, Li! Who do you think you are?"

**Read and Review! Please don't flame!**


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